Life is a cycle, and november since to be where I start a new cycle every few years or so. November 2003 was when I stopped smoking change my thoughts and pursue a new life. November 2007 is when I left a job royal caribbean (long story). I left cape canaveral with 2 bags and 1 credit card with $1000 full of doubts but once again changed my thoughts and purse a new life, after a few ups and downs I rebuilt myself. November it’s also 2 of my best Ironman races, where I feel I hit new levels. Some of those phases were really hard and scary, with stuff that I don’t even want to remember.
This november it feels that is another transition time. After we spent 84 days in the NICU at Joe Dimaggio Childrens Hospital, I once again started to think and view life in a different way. A way and a side that you might have never seen on me before, but I always had.
The nicu life is a roller coaster of emotions, it is very scary to see your sons life in your hands. The first 3 days when Luke was born, I was at shock. I mean, to see your son with a heart rate on 60 to 80 bpm, when at this age they usually is in about 160, it’s scary. To not hear him cry or move just add more fire to the gasoline tank. For the first time, I was forced to deal with my emotions day by day, I could not numb myself like before otherwise the mess would be even bigger. Man in general try to hide those emotions by numbing them in a way to show strength, I did it for many years, but I was not always like that as a kid, I used exposed my emotions a lot (my friends when I was young used to sing to me “boys don’t cry” from the cure), over time I thought that I had to be strong I numbed myself.
The nicu life made me acknowledge this once again and face my emotions. Countless times I freaked out, cried, I panic… I started to notice that numbing the emotions won’t help and once again I changed my thoughts and I decided to let it go, maybe that is why I am writing this.
life force. I was always a big in the universe and its powers. The life force in every baby is really really strong. The strength that babies do to live is something unbelievable and beautiful to see. It is the most powerful force, in my view. With that in mind and in order to help Luke I am studying reiki. Luke have done reiki weekly at the nicu with some wonderful nurses that are also reiki masters. Luke respond to reiki really well. I did reiki myself plenty of times, and I just love it! This november, again, is starting a new cycle in my life. A cycle a little bit more spiritual, as well as adding new things to my curriculum such as life coaching (I believe with my experiences I can help others as well).
Life is full of cycles, and looks like november is the month for me and one thing I can say, don’t be afraid of expressing your emotions, it won’t make you weaker, in fact will make you stronger, and trust the life force and never ever give up, you are stronger than you think!